Well, it's been nearly a week since the hysteroscopy, so I called today to make an appt for a mini consult with Dr. R. My test results haven't come in yet (I guess it really does take 10 days)... so my appt isn't going to be until NEXT Friday.
In the meantime, I got in touch with Freedom Pharmacy, and got some GREAT news. The meds for the FET are "only" $633! What what! I was one happy girl on Saturday after hearing this. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not looking forward to IM anything... BUT, I felt like it was a little gift that I wasn't getting slapped with IM injections AND them costing a fortune.
Naw what ahh mean y'all?
Soooo, for now, just another 2 really, weeks of waiting, and staying on the demon BCP. Which, knock on wood, has not made me break out like a teenager yet (praise Jesus!) and hasn't made me super crazy.
This week, I am kicking back and fully enjoying my caffeinated coffee and a few adult bevvies, and trying not to think about the test outcomes or what happens next. Oh and saving saving money for the meds and next cycle costs. Fun times right?
*S
Oh PS. just read a blog where {surprise} the blogger turned out to be preggers... this isn't an IF blog that i follow, actually it's a fashion one... and without hesitation, clicked unfollow... am i alone in the fact that i just can't bear to follow along with mama's that haven't had issues? is that evil? ugh.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Another test checked off the list.
Yesterday was the hysteroscopy and I'm happy to report everything went fine. This time around though, I was SUPER out of it coming out of the anesthesia... and for some reason, super itchy. LOL. One of the lovely possible side effects the nurse told me.
I also got a nice dose of IV Clindamycin, an antibiotic, which made my mouth taste like metal, or so I kept telling everybody.
I also apparently got a stitch! Though it wasn't til today when the nurse called to follow-up that I could actually find out where and why. Apparently a routine part of the procedure if the instruments move around they can nick your cervix... ok... and apparently they told me this like 3x yesterday. Though, hubby, who wasn't under any anesthesia had no idea where/why the stitch was put in, what's his excuse? At least mine was that I was hopped up on the happy juice!
We also did some fun chromosomal testing... just basic blood tests. Though, by the time I came out of surgery, I was pretty dehydrated and they had a hard time finding a vein. So hand vein it was. Ouchie.
Also, this time, the ride home was rough. I was a bit nauseous, and just didn't feel good, and even started crying at one point. Though, thinking about it now, I think it was still the anesthesia wearing off, because a) I really wasn't in pain per se and b) I'm not usually a crybaby when I am in pain. Looking back now, I can't even believe I cried. LOL Silly girl, I know.
Next up, (hopefully) a call from the pharmacy (up in Boston, Freedom Pharmacy, anyone heard of it?) to let me know how many thousands of dollars I'll owe them for some sucky-ass IM injections (which I'm super dreading). Also, a mini consult with Dr. R to go over the results of the hysteroscopy and the chromosomal testing, and to see if we need to do anything else before FET.
Onwards and upwards,
*S
I also got a nice dose of IV Clindamycin, an antibiotic, which made my mouth taste like metal, or so I kept telling everybody.
I also apparently got a stitch! Though it wasn't til today when the nurse called to follow-up that I could actually find out where and why. Apparently a routine part of the procedure if the instruments move around they can nick your cervix... ok... and apparently they told me this like 3x yesterday. Though, hubby, who wasn't under any anesthesia had no idea where/why the stitch was put in, what's his excuse? At least mine was that I was hopped up on the happy juice!
We also did some fun chromosomal testing... just basic blood tests. Though, by the time I came out of surgery, I was pretty dehydrated and they had a hard time finding a vein. So hand vein it was. Ouchie.
Also, this time, the ride home was rough. I was a bit nauseous, and just didn't feel good, and even started crying at one point. Though, thinking about it now, I think it was still the anesthesia wearing off, because a) I really wasn't in pain per se and b) I'm not usually a crybaby when I am in pain. Looking back now, I can't even believe I cried. LOL Silly girl, I know.
Next up, (hopefully) a call from the pharmacy (up in Boston, Freedom Pharmacy, anyone heard of it?) to let me know how many thousands of dollars I'll owe them for some sucky-ass IM injections (which I'm super dreading). Also, a mini consult with Dr. R to go over the results of the hysteroscopy and the chromosomal testing, and to see if we need to do anything else before FET.
Onwards and upwards,
*S
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Look who showed up...
It's that bitch Aunt Flo! Two days after the BFN and stopping the meds... she snuck quietly in. So much so i wasn't even totally sure what was going on. i read on a few blogs that AF could be a light one, so i wasn't sure how light was light. but coupled with cramps, nausea and overall ickiness, i got a nice huge clot falling out this morning. Yes. Total TMI. Believe me, i was so totally grossed out (a hard thing to do to me these days of Crinone). But I guess that means today is officially Day 1 of my new cycle.
Been coping better with the fact that IVF #1 didn't work. Even told more people than anticipated. Sort of like the band-aid rule, the faster you rip it off, the quicker it stops hurting? So much for me worrying about when we were going to tell people the news. Glad i wasted all that breath and worrying on that last week huh? LOL.
Anyway I put in a call to the RE to see what i even have to do next. I think definitely blood work and ultrasound... and then what? are we definitely doing the hysteroscopy next, and when? Now i'm just anxious to get started... in the meantime, i'm going to do some more research on possible reasons for unexplained IF. see if there are any other tests i should suggest to my dr. i'm quickly learning that i really need to step up and be my own advocate in all this. if you have any suggestions for me of things to ask/ test for, please let me know!
*s
Monday, September 2, 2013
And the journey continues...
3 words. B. F. N.
i knew it in my heart, but was holding out the tiniest glimmer of hope...
next steps are waiting for AF (bleh/yay) and then doing a hysteroscopy to see if there's anything in my uterus that is causing an issue. because according to my dr, they really thought this was going to work based on the quality of the embies as well as my numbers.
in some ways i think unexplained IF is worse than knowing what's wrong with you. i feel like we're just shooting in the dark, hoping things will work, but not knowing WHY they aren't. and i'd really like to know why. so i'm putting a lot of faith in this next test, that it will give us some answers.
they may also do some chromosomal testing on us to see if there's an issue there, but i just have this sinking feeling its something in MY body that's f*cked up. i guess we can only wait and see...
*s
i knew it in my heart, but was holding out the tiniest glimmer of hope...
next steps are waiting for AF (bleh/yay) and then doing a hysteroscopy to see if there's anything in my uterus that is causing an issue. because according to my dr, they really thought this was going to work based on the quality of the embies as well as my numbers.
in some ways i think unexplained IF is worse than knowing what's wrong with you. i feel like we're just shooting in the dark, hoping things will work, but not knowing WHY they aren't. and i'd really like to know why. so i'm putting a lot of faith in this next test, that it will give us some answers.
they may also do some chromosomal testing on us to see if there's an issue there, but i just have this sinking feeling its something in MY body that's f*cked up. i guess we can only wait and see...
*s
Feeling Pessimistic
Just got home from beta... the dr will call as soon as the results are in. I'm glad to know it's my dr that's on call today. Regardless, I can't seem to shake the feeling of them telling me I'm not pregnant.
I just don't FEEL pregnant. I realized that on Friday on our way to AC (good timing huh?)
Other than the symptoms I feel from the progesterone and estrogen, I don't feel anything else... at all. In my heart, I just feel like this cycle didn't work.
I also POAS last night when we got home from our trip. BFN. Maybe it was a mistake to do that, and I know I should have waited. Especially since it wasn't my first pee of the morning. But there was nothing... no faint lines. Just stark white and the dark control line screaming at me, "You idiot! Did you actually think you'd ever see pink? Muahahahahaha <evil laugh>"
Only a few more hours of torture til we find out for sure. Am I super pessimistic or just a realist?
*S
I just don't FEEL pregnant. I realized that on Friday on our way to AC (good timing huh?)
Other than the symptoms I feel from the progesterone and estrogen, I don't feel anything else... at all. In my heart, I just feel like this cycle didn't work.
I also POAS last night when we got home from our trip. BFN. Maybe it was a mistake to do that, and I know I should have waited. Especially since it wasn't my first pee of the morning. But there was nothing... no faint lines. Just stark white and the dark control line screaming at me, "You idiot! Did you actually think you'd ever see pink? Muahahahahaha <evil laugh>"
Only a few more hours of torture til we find out for sure. Am I super pessimistic or just a realist?
*S
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