Preggos Everywhere!

Wow this week in blogland there have been so many people with BFP's and the "normal" girls without IF problems announcing their news... this is seriously more than a girl can handle! BUT... I am trying to just stay positive and think to myself, "I'm next". I'll be the next one to make my announcement and finally have some happy news to share. This.Is.It.

And to ease my fears of our transfer being cancelled due to polar vortex storm #376 of the year, i was assured that the Somerset office never closes. Like EVER. Apparently they were even open during Hurricane Sandy, which is kind of amazing since i didn't have power for over a week. Or gas. Or food. Or heat. But you know, that's water under the bridge at this point. According to our celebrity status hungry governor, we are stronger than the storm. My IVF clinic apparently was, i don't know about the rest of the state.

OK so where was i? Ah, yes, trying to channel my inner calm and positivity to proclaim that this will work. Can i get an "amen"?

Oh yeah, and thoughts on if i should let myself become a crazy obsessive POAS girl for this cycle? For the past (almost) 3 years, I've always tested the day i'm supposed to go for bloodwork for results and never obsessively beforehand. But i feel this strange need to order some sticks and start at like 5dp5dt... thoughts chickies? Will this make me feel better or worse? Will i be more prepared or more depressed? What should I do?

Happy Friday lovelies!
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The One Where I Forgot to Blog

So i know you have all been sitting around dying to know when the heck my transfer is! Life has been a bit hectic, right now the IF (infertility) Journey is turning into the IF Journey (like, literally IF i ever have any time for anything, it will be a miracle!)

But, so as not to keep you lovely ladies in suspense, our transfer is scheduled for Monday, 3/3. Monday's weather is supposed to be super snowy (big f'ing surprise there) and messy. Awesome sauce. So all i can hope is that we (and the dr and nurses) can still make it there with no weather-related issues. I've never been so glad to have a 4 wheel drive vehicle (even though that bastard only gets 12mpg).

So yes, last night I continued my shots. Tuesdays and Fridays its double torture since i have to do both the delestrogen shot AND the PIO. I won't start complaining about them quite yet... i'll wait til my bum is good and sore to start the bitchfest. And I started the cipro and medrol. And ew, is medrol not the nastiest tasting shizz? Why so bitter Medrol? That taste lingered on my tongue something fierce!

And oh, i had another wonderful side effect from.... which med, i have no idea... was in Target yesterday on my lunch hour, perusing the aisles and suddenly GUSH. right between the damn legs... i swear guys, i thought it was AF, or i peed myself, or my water breaking... and then i thought, "impossible"... once i got back to the office and checked out the sitch down under, i realized it was just CM? i THINK? but regardless, ew. Personally i think it was God's way of telling me to back out of the make up aisle... just say no to beauty products that you don't need Shay...

Anyway, that's about it for me. Other than freaking out about this whole process since this is pretty much our last shot, and even though i have a diagnosis now, what if it DOESN'T work? Oh and I am also worried about the thaw process for our 2 remaining babies, since we lost one last round... Ugh... i think i need cymbalta. LOL

Happy Thursday!
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Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Just checking in since it's been a few days (ok, more than a few) since I last posted. Really not much to report, other than daily Lupron shots and twice weekly delestrogen IM injects have begun. Fun times, i know.

Went for bloodwork and scan yesterday...  my lining check was at 5.66. So not quite there yet. At first I was a bit disappointed. Last FET at this time I was already pushing 9, but alas slow and steady wins the race. Or so they say. That could just be a load of crap right? LOL

Back to Doogie Howser (my one dr looks super young) on Friday for another scan and hopefully the lining will have thickened a bit.

Is it me, or is this cycle taking SUPER long? I'm so over these damn Lupron shots. I just really really really need this to work this time around. But we all already felt this way right?

Happy HUMP Day!
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My Life as of Late... I Feel Like Jekyll & Hyde...

Maybe it's because my body's been off drugs for close to 3 months, but let me tell you gals... this cycle's Lupron has hit me baby one more time with a VENGEANCE! The headaches, the mood swings, the emotionalness ality .... dammit, i'm emotional! Oh yeah, and i stopped the evil BCP which after 3 months i finally felt normal on... and poof, aunt flo shows up at my door step. My RE said after the laparoscopy, "oh so your period may be SO much better now that we removed most of the endo" NOPE! "or you may not even get a period at all!" NOPE AGAIN. i've been hearing from my non-infertile friends that aunt flo has raged in like all these snow storms we've been getting here in jersey, so maybe its just a big F you from Mother Nature herself. I guess she has bad days too?

So anyway, now that i'm a bleeding, cramping, headache-y, hormonal mess my poor hubby gets to enjoy the brunt of it. And before you go, "awwww", let's remember, the man is never going to have to push a baby out of ANY of HIS body parts... am i right?

So last weekend was the Superbowl (go jets?) and we were having a couple of people over... you know, it's not like my husband didn't decide this TWO days before or anything... him? last minute? nooooo, never... (said as sarcastically as humanly possible). He We decided I would cook up some Sunday sauce (not gravy) with some meatballs, sausage and pasta. So, there I am, minding my own business, making the sauce, and in walks Mr I-Know-How-To-Do-Everything-And-Even-Though-I-Know-You-Know-I'm-Going-To-Tell-You-What-To-Do-Anyway. MMMM Hmmmmm, that was a mouthful, but i think you see where this is going...

Him: Honey, why are you doing the onions like that? You don't need to do the onions? And where is the garlic? Did you add the garlic? You should have added the garlic first....
Me: I know, and I am adding the garlic, it's right here.
Him: But you should have done that first? Why wouldn't you do that first, and then just add the tomatoes, why are you stirring the onions? Don't do that!
Me Mr Hyde: ARE BEEPING SERIOUS? DO YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE SAUCE?? I AM BEEPING 35 YEARS OLD, HOW THE BEEP DO YOU THINK I MADE SAUCE BEFORE I MET YOU?! DO YOU WANT TO MAKE YOUR OWN BEEPING SAUCE FOR YOUR OWN BEEPING FRIENDS BY YOUR OWN BEEPING SELF?! CUZ WE CAN BEEPING ARRANGE THAT!

whoa. (clearly i edited my potty mouth for this blog. maybe i need a swear jar?)

silence....

at this point, husband saw the look of death in my crazy drug induced eyes and knew if he wanted to keep his body parts in tact he should make a quick exit. which is what he did. smart man.

10 minutes later we were hugging it out, dr jekyll was back in the house, and order was restored in the universe. Cue sigh of relief from the hubby. It also may or may not have helped that we turned on the Puppybowl during this time period. I mean who can stay mad when there are glorious cuddly little puppies frolicking across the tv. Surely not this girl!

And that my friends has been my life as of late. Stay tuned for more shenanigans!