And Just Like That...

We're back in the game...

RE appt was this past Friday. Gasp! I know... it's been days and I haven't updated. That's because LIFE keeps getting in the damn way. And by life, I mean work. I mean, don't my employers know that infertility IS my life these days? Sheesh... the nerve...

Anywho...

So the final results of the hysteroscopy... pretty much normal. Pathology suggested that I have had polyps. Which Dr. R saw and removed when she was all up in there... supposedly those little sons of bitches won't grow back, so that's good news. Other than that, I apparently have a "small cavity" aka uterus. And in addition to being small, it's anti-verted.

An anteverted uterus refers to one where the positioning of the top points towards the tummy, front or the bladder. This condition is acceptable and is the most common position of the uterus and thus requires no medical attention. [via google]

My chromosomal testing came back normal. Hubby's is lost in the shuffle, so they should have it by today so I need to make a phone call to get his results.

So the final conclusion, at this point, is that we should try to do a frozen cycle, as my body might have just been on a hormone rampage from turning it into an egg making factory. Even though all my lab results were in normal range, sometimes a fresh cycle is just less likely to work. Who knew. RIP first two embies. It was a valiant effort.

And with another practice transfer under my belt (and almost pissing myself on the ride home), we are off to FET! Yay IM injections.... (insert MAJOR sarcasm). So I started Lupron on Friday night, took my last BCP pill last night, should have AF this week and start the delestrogen next Monday (eek!)

Oh yeah, and apparently if this cycle does not work, then we might have to move on to genetic embryo testing. At this point, my dr wants to try one more time, because apparently its mega expensive and not covered by insurance. Super...

So, with that said, we just NEED NEED this to work... I need it to be worth every single needle jab that I am about to embark on... PLEASE! LOL.

*s

3dp5dt

Here we are at Tuesday... i'm feeling a bit antsy today... don't think it's because of the 2ww. Moreso, just not wanting to be at work on a gorgeous day!

Hubby was at the gym today, and found this!

An angel penny! Called me and told me that he knows i'm pregs and it's a sign from God! I sure hope he's right, that would be a great Godwink! If it turns out that I am pregs, I'm going to take the angel penny and make it into a necklace. :) one can only hope!

Other than that, no symptoms present... i've been dutifully taking my estrace, inserting the crinone, and taking my prenatal gummy vits... so doing all I can to hopefully keep these babies marinating. LOL.

Today implantation would be starting, so dig in babies! Monday cannot come soon enough!

*s

Transfer Day!

Transfer day was yesterday. We got the call early Saturday that there were 2 great looking blasts waiting for transfer and 4 (possibly to be 5) that were going to be good to freeze.

our 2 little blasts!

So at 10:30, hubby, ma dukes and I (and a LOT of water) headed to the clinic for the transfer. For some reason, I felt more anxiety going for this procedure than I did on Monday. I don't know why, but I think that knowing this is the last step, and knowing, there's nothing left to do but wait after this, just had me feeling quite anxious.

Luckily, I had an acupuncturist meet me there and the acupuncture really helped to calm me down. She also said that 70% of her patients that did acupuncture in the office at the transfer ended up pregnant. Who knows if that's really true, but it gave us some extra hope!

The procedure itself was... uncomfortable to say the least. I mean, its not like my bladder was super full or anything LOL, but I was DYING on that table trying not to pee all over the doctors. I heard them mention that my uterus was curved so they were having a bit of a hard time getting the catheter to the spot. But they did get it in there and popped my little blasts into place.

And then the inevitable happened.... I had to use..... the bedpan. After drinking more than 32 oz (half gallon) of water in 2 hours, there was no way I was going to be able to hold it anymore. Luckily the nurses are used to this sort of thing, but still semi-embarassing.

After another acupuncture session and laying semi-inverted for 30 minutes it was home for bedrest for the rest of the day (and into today). I think I slept like 20 hours out of sheer boredom! And that's where we are right now. Hopefully these two little bambinos are getting ready to implant themselves and continue to grow. I can only pray and leave it in God's hands at this point!

Day 3 and then there were 9

Called the embryologist bright and early this morning to see if today's Day 3 transfer was happening, and the report was that there are 9 eight-cell embryos, none of which are "perfect" but are all growing about the same and looking about the same. So for now the plan is to hold off and do the transfer on Day 5 to see how they look on Saturday.

I'm relieved that we finally have a solid date/time to get this done!

A few questions going thru my mind... feel free to chime in with answers.

• How many days of bed rest after transfer should i have? pretty sure my clinic says just the day of... though since we're transferring on a saturday, i might as well relax it up on sunday too right? If i do sunday, do i need to be as strict?
• Once they transfer the blasts in, am i "technically" pregnant? I mean, i guess i'm not considering myself "officially" pregnant til at least the first beta -- possibly like the third, but once those blasts are IN my body, is that considered "pregnant"?
• Being that i'll have to wait (up to) 2 weeks for the beta, do i need to do things like not eat sushi, certain cheeses and deli meats? How does that all work?
• How much more acupuncture should i do?

Anyway, i'm sure i'll be googling away from now til saturday morning! LOL!

Retrieval Day

So Sunday i was back at the RE for a quick blood draw and to get instructions for the following morning. I also got another vein blown out, my arms are a "hot mess" as was told to me by my nurse. LOL

Monday, bright and early, we arrived for the procedure... funny enough, i wasn't nervous at all! Which is weird, because usually i would be totally nervous. I attribute it to the acupuncture in really helping my stress levels and helping to relax me.

They brought me to the pre/post op area, went over some things, and started my IV (in the non hot mess arm). Then i kissed hubby good bye and was off to the OR. They laid me down, had me tell them my information and that is the last damn thing i remember!

Next thing i know, i'm waking up back in the post-op area and the procedure was done! Easy freaking peasy! I love anesthesia. LOL. Apparently my hubby thought it would be fun to record my loopiness, as i was drifting in and out. The pain wasn't bad at all, mild cramps, and i was discharged within the hour. We had a small hiccup with my IV when they changed out the bag, they didn't turn the nozzle to direct it into my arm, so it ended up dripping all over my arm for a good 10-15 minutes, so my whole left side was soaked. I kept saying, "i think my arm is wet" but no one was paying attention to the loopy girl! After I finally looked down, because by then i was like, "is my arm bleeding?", the nurse realized what happened and fixed everything.

Now for the good news... we got 14 eggs! And then found out yesterday morning that 12 fertilized. Yay!

Now we have to call tomorrow to see if the embies have progressed enough to do a day 3 transfer (thursday) or if we'll do a day 5 transfer (saturday). i can't believe this is it and i could be pregnant with TWINS no less in the next two weeks. I am PRAYING at least one of those little embies stick... it would really be so amazing.

For now, all i can do is take things day by day... going to the John Mayer concert tonight with some girlfriends. At least that will provide a fun distraction til tomorrow morning!

*S

Chugging Along & Possible Retrieval Date!

Still here, chugging along... 2 more shots to the gut last night. And what a big fat gut it's becoming. Holy bloating Batman, people are going to soon mistake me for Shamu. Or at least that's how it feels. I technically have only gained about 2lbs, but i just feel like my weight has been distributed differently. Coupled with the uncomfortable feeling of tennis ball sized ovaries, and two nice sized bruises on my stomach from hitting blood vessels (oops), i feel hot!

i'm crossing my fingers that tonight will be the last night of shots... which would mean that retrieval day would be Monday! Whoo hoo!

I'm awaiting a phone call from my dr this afternoon once the bloodwork comes back, and then another appointment tomorrow morning... and then hopefully we're off! And this would be especially good since I'm on my last cartridge of Follistim, and I really don't want to have to buy more...

So IF retrieval is Monday... Transfer would either be Thursday or Saturday. And then a nice long, excruciating 2ww, and then HOPEFULLY i will be pregnant! Dare I say that? We're putting 2 embies in, so i COULD potentially be knocked up with TWINS! EEK!!!

Happy Friday, will check in over the weekend with an update!
*S

First Acupuncture

i had my first acupuncture appointment yesterday. i wasn't sure what to expect and it wasn't bad... i figure any little thing i can do that can possibly help, i'm doing.

they started out with a crazy acupressure massage. not gonna lie, this was nowhere near being relaxing and peaceful. crazy asian guy whaling on my back and neck for 20 minutes is much more accurate. however, by the end of it, i was feeling pretty good. he sure did work out a lot of the kinks in my shoulders and neck and i'm sort of looking forward to more torture tomorrow!

then it was onto the needles... overall, i had 25 needles in me... head, ears, forehead, arms, hands, stomach, knees, ankles and feet. the majority of them didn't hurt at all. the 5 in my stomach were hooked up to the electric current to stimulate blood flow to the uterus and ovaries. the one in my right ankle caused this shooting pain that lasted for about 2 minutes and then passed... not sure what that was about, will have to ask/tell the dr tomorrow. and then 1 in my left ear and 1 in my left hand throbbed the entire time, but not unbearably. in fact, i even fell asleep.

my next appointment is tomorrow night and she then wants to see me every other day until retrieval. not sure about after retrieval what she'll suggest so i guess i can ask tomorrow.

And we're off!

I found out last night that we were on for this cycle! Halleluiah! I was so worried we'd be skipping this cycle, but thankfully i just have a cyst. Along with the cystic acne all over my face, thanks birth control, i guess i shouldn't be surprised that that's what it was.

Anyway, I ran errands like crazy today and tried to distract myself from thinking about the mixing of the meds and the... eek... injection that awaited me. After a gazillion cycles of this, you'd think I'd be used to this now? But the anxiety of it all just always creeps up on me. I mean, seriously, who the hell LIKES needles in the gut?

I set my alarm for 8:30, but actually ended up doing it before my alarm even went off. The mixing went fine. This is the first time I had to mix more than 1 vial of Menopur, so i was a bit nervous about getting the process down.

I would think that the first would be the worst... the anticipation of actually stabbing yourself and getting the needle in, but this time it only took me 2 times of counting off before i was actually able to jab it in. A nurse friend of mine told me to say out loud, "1, 2, stab". there were many nights in the past where i stood in front of the mirror going "1, 2, stab" over and over before bringing myself to do it. And these are just these little silly sub Q shots! I really don't know how people do the IM shots!

Anyway, i attribute the fact that i'm getting a bit "pleasantly plump" to the fact that the shot didn't hurt as much as anticipated. Maybe its in my head, maybe i'm looking for a reason to NOT hit the gym, but i swear, it hurt less. This is a double-edged sword though since now that i have a muffin top, i'm super self conscious about bikini season. Good thing i'll soon have bruises all over my entire abdomen and won't have to worry about wearing a bikini anyway! But, IF it gets us to our final goal of having a family of 3 (well 3.5, ya gotta count the fur child) then all this will be well worth it and then some.

Shot #2 awaits tomorrow, and then Monday, back to the dr for a blood test. I also got AF today from stopping the pill so now i have to figure out what to do about the acupuncture since they had wanted me to start on day 1 of my cycle.

*S

Another (Possible) Kink in the Plan

This morning was my baseline bloodwork and ultrasound. I was excited to finally be starting my cycle. Lo and behold, I get in there and my RE is looking at the ultrasound and saying how there is something on the left, that could very well be a follie. We won't know until later this afternoon when the results of the bloodwork come back. Talk about a rollercoaster!

We're starting, we're stopping, we're starting, we're stopping...

So, there's pretty much a 50/50 chance at this point that its a follicle. Which is funny because i've been on that damn crazy BC pill for 5 weeks now. And according to my dr, if its a follicle, that means i'd be that 0.9% that the BC pill did not work for because i would still just ovulate despite being on it. Well isn't that just freaking peachy. I spent all those years on the pill trying not to get pregnant and NOT ovulate... then i spent all this time NOT on the pill TRYING to get pregnant... and now that they put me on the pill for a little while so i wouldn't ovulate, i'm STILL ovulating? And probably still won't get pregnant. So the worst case scenario is that it is a follie, we monitor it, and do it "the old fashioned way" which in my book = big fat waste of time. And yes, i know, it COULD happen. But after 21 months of trying, i'm a bit skeptical. Sue me.

Option 2 is that its a cyst. In which case, we move forward with the cycle as planned. Which means a nice juicy shot to the stomach starting tomorrow. Yay for liquid fire! (Sarcasm at its finest).

At this point, my hormone levels will determine what's going to happen. And I'm SO glad I already told my boss now for the SECOND time that we were starting... Ugh.

Needless to say, after my morning, i drove right to Wawa and got myself a giant star frosted sprinkle donut.

Anywho, happy Friday, i'll update when i get the results.

Oh, PS, on a happy note. Hubby got his results from the SA he gave Monday for the freeze. (our clinic makes us give a "back-up" sample in case something happens the day of the retrieval). His numbers were fantastic. 128 million, 61% motility and normal (don't remember the #s) morphology. So yay for that!

Here We GO!

Finally got the all clear to stop the BC pill and start stims Saturday. It’s the start of hopefully the journey that will change our lives forever. But first I have to get through all the needles… 

Since our cycle was cancelled last month, it’s time to start psyching myself up for tons of shots, doctor appointments and ultrasounds. Yuck, yuck and YUCK. But, it will be all worth it if at the end this lady’s uterus has a growing bambino!

Wish us luck!
*S