First Kicks!!

Hello there! Yes, I've been MIA for a few weeks now, work has been insanity and June is just flying by! I finally have a few minutes to stop and take a deep breath.

So without further ado, a little bumpdate for you all! (with no pics because i suck).

How far along: 18 weeks, 6 days - big 19 weeks tomorrow!

Baby size: Baby is the size of a mango! About 6" from head to rump.

Weight gain: i think we're in the 10-11lb range. To be honest, i'm trying not to focus on weight gain, and just try and enjoy the ride and eat what i want when i want without being a total glutton. Luckily i'm into lots of fruit for the summer, so i'm making some good healthy choices.

Stretch marks: haven't seen any yet, still slathering on the bio oil!

Mood: My mood has been GREAT. I'm finally feeling good and my energy levels are up. We are planning the nursery and i've bought a few things for this little bambino! I've also more than popped so it's definitely fun dressing my bump.

Sleep: Bah.... i can't complain too much... getting up so much to pee in the middle of the night is annoying, but i can usually fall back asleep right away. Crazy vivid dreams are off the charts right now (including lots of sex dreams, mmmmmm). My Snoogle pillow has been a lifesaver!

Gender: BOY!! Still trying to figure out a name... good thing we have months to decide!

Movement:  YES!!! started feeling the first little blips last friday, wasn't quite sure it was bambino moving around... but now i still feel the same little bubbles/muscle spasm feeling right where my uterus is so i'm pretty sure its him. I can only feel them intermittently and when i am very still. He is very active at night after 9pm, and yesterday morning, i got 2 distinct pops when i first woke up and was still lying in bed. I think it was his way of telling me to get up and eat some breakfast!

Best moment this week: Well, feeling little boy moving is totally great, but so is finally agreeing on and picking out his furniture and bedding! And we ordered the glider!

Munire Jefferson Collection

Little Castel Madison Glider (ours is in beige)

Lambs and Ivy Bow Wow Buddies

Looking forward to:  Our anatomy scan next Monday! And getting to the halfway mark!

Food cravings: Fruit! Lots and lots of fruit... nectarines, watermelon, plums, strawberries and cherries. Glad i'm craving healthy stuff and the fruit is helping to keep me regular (TMI?). Oh and even though i can't have it, totally craving a giant italian sub. Hubby knows he is to go straight to the deli and get me a huge one once baby boy makes his appearance.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not too much anymore. Though a random bite of anything at anytime can still make me gag. And brushing my teeth in the morning is still somewhat of a challenge.

Labor Signs: Nooooooooo. No time soon! I still have to take the child birth class at the hospital so i know what i'm doing!

What I miss: Italian subs and sushi this week.

Symptoms: Lots of pressure in my lower abdomen, its not helping that my pants and seatbelt press right on this area... pregnancy rhinitis combined with seasonal allergies... emotional roller coasters (aka crying at pampers commercials)... hunger every 2 hrs on the dot... and lots and lots of peeing.... i was in BRU the other day and HAD drop everything and RUN to use the facilities, only to have about a teaspoon of pee come out. it was annoying.

Workouts: Let's not even talk about this. I live in a 3rd floor condo, does climbing the stairs everyday count? Let's pretend it does. One of these days i will unwrap the dvds. Maybe. I have at least been taking the dog out for walks outside so i'm not a TOTAL bum.

Anyhoo. That's it for me. I PROMISE i'll be back next week with an update from our anatomy scan, and some bump pics. I'm also going to be researching stuff for our registry this week and next so maybe i'll try to do a post on some of that stuff. We'll see. Or i might just be lazy. Because work sucks the life out of me.

Toot-a-loo sweet thangs!

*s

Hump Day Bump Day - Week 15

Wow, i can't believe we're at Week 15

14 weeks, 2 days

How far along: 15 weeks today!

Baby size: Baby is the size of a navel orange. About 4" and 2.5 oz!

Weight gain: 7 pounds according to my scale at home. we will see what the dr scale says on monday (though i think their scale LIES!)

Stretch marks: no no no! hoping they stay away! still using bio oil nightly...

Mood: pretty good except when i get hungry, then watch out. hubby has witnessed the transformation first hand and it ain't pretty!

Sleep: becoming more uncomfortable as the belly starts to grow. lots of tossing and turning. oh and apparently now i snore... ugh. thanks congestion!

Gender: BOY! Daddy's Little Jet Fan!

Movement:  No, but i definitely felt pressure below my belly button, and when I used the fetal doppler, sure enough, heard the baby's heartbeat right where i felt the pressure!

Best moment this week: Making my husbands dreams come true with a little boy he can take to all the football games and do all that male bonding stuff with!

Looking forward to:  Our next dr appt on Monday, its been way too long since i've been to the dr, i'm starting to go into withdrawl (said only half sarcastically!)

Food cravings: still pickles, always pickles. to date, i've eaten about 3 jars of pickles. Starting to crave lots of sweet summer fruits (cantalope, nectarines, peaches, strawberries) and finally some healthy things like salads!

Anything making you queasy or sick: Just my morning vitamin and BP meds. I'm almost thinking it might be psychological at this point, as i'm not really sick from anything else. Weird.

Labor Signs: Stay away labor, we have a while to go!

What I miss: Wine. Fruity alcoholic drinks.

Symptoms: Gas (lots of it), congestion (but could also be allergy-related), still pretty tired and going to bed earlier than usual, twinges and pressure in my lower belly, random bouts of nausea.

Workouts: Been trying to take the pup for a few walks... still have yet to open the prenatal workout DVD's... they are sitting in the living room though. Maybe one of these days. LOL

Hope everyone is having a great day!

*s

Results are in!

I'm totally shocked, but very happy and excited! I seriously thought it was a girl the whole time, but am so happy to give my husband the son he always dreamed of.

And results are all normal for the trisomies too, so a HUGE relief!

Happy Memorial Day weekend!

*S

Hump Day Bump Day - Week 13

ok, so i am a totally bad blogger and have only taken 1 picture of my beer gut bump. so maybe next week you'll get a fun photo if i can locate my tripod (stupid pregnancy brain).

How far along: 13 weeks exactly

Baby size: The size of a peach according to the bump!

Weight gain: About 5-6 lbs... i think...

Stretch marks: not yet and hoping they stay away! i'm trying to be good about putting the bio oil on every night!

Mood: happy and excited (finally) but definitely still nervous!

Sleep: eh... i get up to pee at least 2x a night. some nights are restful, others are not. still going to bed early!

Gender: not sure yet, but Harmony test should be back in two weeks and then we'll know! yes, yet another 2 week wait, do these things ever end??

Movement:  Not yet, just some fierce gas... #tmi #preggoproblems

Best moment this week: All the cards and love i received for Mother's Day... it was so surreal and amazing. this whole experience just feels like a dream, like i'm some sort of impostor! that is until i gag on something random like rice, and then i know it's real!

Looking forward to:  Finding out if this little bambino is a boy or a girl... hopefully not feeling so sick all the time... and having my bump look like a bump and not like i ate 12 chipotle burritos! (mmmm... Chipotle!)

Food cravings: pickles, green olives, red meat occasionally. i am both in love and turned off by food at the same time. i can also be eating something i am loving, get to the last few bites, and then gag on it and not be able to eat it anymore...

Anything making you queasy or sick: Yep... pretty much everything, see above! Brushing my teeth every morning has me gagging, taking my prenatal vitamin, the other day i gagged on air. Yes, air. But if this is what it takes, then i'll do it with minimal complaint. And i haven't actually puked yet, which i'm not sure if that's better or worse... just on the verge of it multiple times a day.

Labor Signs: Hell to the NO!

What I miss: a big italian sub sandwich filled with fatty cold cuts. my mouth is watering and also having enough energy to be able to cook dinner at night.

Symptoms: slight headaches have started, nausea/gagging on everything, exhaustion, boobs are growing (husband LOVES that), tiny belly bump... what else... oh and get this... according to web MD -- your lady parts may have a blue tinge because of all the increased blood flow. So i go and check and holy shit! I'm turning into a smurf!

Workouts: Epic Fail on all accounts. BUT, i did order 2 prenatal workout DVD's from amazon which i hope get here in the next week so i can start.

Happy Hump Day!
*s

12 weeks & 1st trimester screening

Hello, hello! It's been a hot minute since I've posted anything, work has just been insane, and when I'm not working, I'm simply exhausted.

But I did want to get on here and give some updates on how things are going, the lack of clothing that fits, the things I gag on daily and of course BABY C!

First off, these past few weeks have been... challenging! I am fully trying my best to embrace the nausea and exhaustion I have from morning til night, but let me tell you, it's not easy! Whoever thought the hard part was over after the infertility stuff was totally wrong. I mean, seriously, I think anyone that has to suffer through infertility should totally get a pass on this "morning" (they lie, it's ALL DAY) sickness and such. And people, I gag. On like, everything. It's hilarious and gross at the same time. My gag reflex is just super sensitive -- I can barely brush my teeth in the mornings without gagging. Actually just thinking about brushing my teeth has me on the brink of gagging. Weirdest phenomenon everrrrrr.

Anyway, and oh yeah... big news! Monday was a sad and happy day. Graduation from the RE. I may or may not have told them I wasn't leaving and that they would just have to deliver Baby C. I mean, seriously, you see these people multiple times a week for years on end, and then it's like, ok go find a new doctor... noooooooooo! But alas, I have graduated onto greener pastures. And the MOST exciting part of that, no more shots! (Shots, shots, shots... sorry I always sing that damn Lil' John song) but yes, they are done. 11 weeks and 5 days of shots and finally we're done. My backside is super bruised happy now.

So with my graduation from the RE, I went back to my regular OB and had a couple appointments. But today was the big one. The 1st trimester screening. And... it was great! Everything is looking nice and normal so far! NT scan showed the space between the neck at 1.3 which is normal. There was a clear nasal bone. Heart rate was 166 bpm. Baby had 2 arms, 2 legs, a bladder, a stomach and some other stuff. The tech pointed out so many things, it was amazing to see. And right before the ultrasound ended, Baby did a little flip for us! Gymnast in training perhaps? Oh, and the best part of the appointment? NO DILDO CAM! Yes, ultrasound wand on the outside people! Woot woot! We're really in the money now, huh?

11 weeks

12 weeks #selfie

Anyway, the SCH is still hanging around, but definitely shrinking, so I am finally cleared for light exercise. So I'll be looking into some prenatal yoga DVD's once I put down the box of cookies soon.
I also got a script for the Harmony test, though I may have to duke it out with Cigna to make sure it's covered. If not, we'll skip it, but if possible, I'd like to get it done.

Other than that, my next appointment isn't until the beginning of June! What am I going to do with myself until then?? That's probably the longest I've gone without a doctor's appointment since the beginning of the year when I was healing from the laparoscopy!

Oh yeah, and last thing. Maternity clothes are glorious. I really wish I could have worn some of them pre-pregnancy. Elastic waist jeans are the shiz-nit.

That's it for me tonight. Time for a snack and then I've gotta put this baby to bed!
*S

9 weeks and holding steady

Happy Monday friends!

Today we had our weekly scan and bloodwork. And as of Wednesday I will be 9 weeks.

The good news for today is that the blood clot has gotten a little bit smaller (thank you for your prayers for that) and we're hoping my body just continues to absorb it.

The better news is that the remaining baby is doing great! We had a heart rate of 170 bpm (old wives' tale is saying GIRL) and he/she was measuring in perfectly at 8w5d on the money.

The BEST news was in addition to a great heartbeat and size, we got a wiggle! To see it move on its own... that was just surreal. For the longest time I really never believed we would actually BE pregnant. And to see this little alien blob teeny tiny baby move on its own was just so exciting!

So, to all my fellow infertiles out there that are still trying, i guess i just want you to know there is hope.  Some days i feel guilty that i've "crossed over" and made it to the other side. And I know I shouldn't feel like that. 2.5 years of trying, 9 IUI's, 1 IVF, 2 FETs and 2 surgeries... i've put in my time as so many of you have. And for a while, I honestly never thought i would make it. But I did. And i hope and pray you do too. So, just keep holding onto the hope.

finally some warm weather!

*s

Sometimes These Things "Just Happen"

This morning we had our weekly ultrasound to see the progress of the babies... I fortunately haven't had any bleeding from the clot this week so we were hoping that the clot had shrunk.

We were wrong. So wrong.

Not only has the clot increased in size, but Baby B is most likely not going to make it. Apparently, B hasn't grown since last week. And they couldn't really see a clear heartbeat. The dr thinks that maybe the clot has affected Baby B and is actually closer to it than we originally thought. Secondly, the location of where Baby B had implanted wasn't really optimal from the beginning.

The good news is Baby A seems to be doing awesome. He/she is growing perfectly and right on track and has a nice fast heartbeat (though they didn't actually tell me the number).

So while we are both super disappointed that Baby B has become a statistic of "Vanishing Twin Syndrome", we're trying to just thank God that Baby A is doing well.

Now we're just hoping that this "f*cking clot" as my husband is now referring to it as, just starts to shrink and doesn't cause any problems for Baby A.

At this point, I'm just frustrated. That even once we've achieved a pregnancy, my stupid body just still doesn't want to work right. I mean, I KNOW this isn't my fault, anything i've done, didn't do etc. I logically know that and can accept that. But deep down, how can I not feel bad about it, when its MY body that's not doing its job... my husband doesn't want me to feel that way, but i mean, we as women, were put on this earth to have the babies... so it just leaves me STILL feeling the way i felt when we were struggling to even get pregnant... what is wrong with me?

In terms of our emotional state, I think hubby is taking it harder than I am. He was so caught off guard by this. In fact, he was begging me earlier and earlier to announce our pregnancy on FB and to his friends. To which, just this weekend I had told him that Vanishing Twin Syndrome is 30% likely. And today we became part of that statistic. For me personally, yes, I am super sad and disappointed. We were finally getting really excited about having TWO babies. However, since I've been the one doing the research and hearing stories from real life friends who have been through this, I think I was just better prepared for the possibility of this happening. So yes, i am sad. But I am ok. And i know that i still need to stay as stress-free as possible for the little miracle that is still growing strong inside me.

Another angel baby to add to my list... (i count all my embryos that didn't make it as angel babies).

trying to be glass half full monday...

*s