Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Transfer and Rant

So, yesterday was our FET and all started out great. I got up early and was off to acupuncture. Dr L added some extra needles so I truly looked like a voodoo doll with needles sticking out everywhere. After that, Mr. Miyagi came in and did some crazy massage thing on my stomach area. Well it sort of went lower than the general stomach area, totally thought I was going to get a happy ending or something, but he wasn't pervy, just hitting pressure points around my uterus and ovaries, i think...


Once that was over, I was on my way back home. It was kind of a PITA that I had to drive all the way out to Princeton on a day I didn't even have work, but that's usually how these things work out. On my way, I made the executive decision to stop at Dunkin Donuts and get myself 6 donuts some treats.

Jets donut
At 11am, I checked in and called the embryology lab. Apparently they had to thaw 3 embies to get 2. Who knew, its only an 80% survival rate when they thaw/defrost the embryos. So I was kind of sad about that... Another baby gone... Do you guys consider your embryos your babies already? I do, and just felt sad that that one wouldn't have a chance at life. But I was happy that we still had 2 great looking ones to transfer.

So here's where the rant starts. We had to be there by noon. So we get in the car at 11:20 and get on our way. About 3 minutes on the road, hubby tells me he's hungry and he needs to stop and pick up a sandwich. UMMMM? REALLY? There is no time allotted for food stops in our trip. Now he's going on and on about how he thought he couldn't be in the room when I had the procedure... Nooooo, that was for the RETRIEVAL you idiot, NOT the transfer. So what happens? We stop at the local deli. And they take FOR-EV-ER to make an egg sandwich. At this point, I am in the car FUMING because at this point we're going to be late. Like really late. Once he finally gets back in the car (and I am now driving) the fighting starts. So needless to say we fought about everything from my driving skills (yes, i was speeding to try to get us there faster), the fact that I felt like he was selfish for not waking up earlier to eat a proper breakfast when he KNEW we had an appointment, and then I brought up the fact that I wished he didn't even have to come and I would do this on my own, like I've done everything for the past 2 years of treatments on my own. Yup, I went there. The hormones made me do it.


Here's the backstory to my comment. When we first started this process, hubby had the attitude of "i can't have the baby, it's not MY body, therefore what you have to do is YOUR problem". We had many many fights where I complained of him not being supportive enough. Of the 9 IUI's we did, I went to about 5 of them ALONE. Some of them were due to his work schedule, fine. But some of them were because he was "tired" from work and didn't want to wake up early to be bothered to go with me. Are your ears steaming reading this? My husband is not a bad guy. He works extremely hard for us. He commutes to Manhattan (2 hours each way) and works 2-3 extra double shifts a week. Often, he's working so much he sleeps on a cot sweet air mattress at work because he doesn't have enough time to commute home in between shifts. So I don't want to make him out to be this... evil person. But... in the beginning, and for a long time, he just didn't get it. I mean, what man REALLY does? They're not the ones getting violated everyday by the dildo cam, or sticking themselves with needles all the time, or being late to work because of morning dr appts. Once we finally started the IVF process, I think he finally started to get it. And he was awesome. Sympathetic, supportive, overly nice. Of course by that point, I was pretty bitter. His words of "Put your big girl panties on" still echoed through my head. But things have been going smoothly. Until yesterday.

Sorry for the rant, just needed to vent... I'm sure we'll make up and I can only hope that my hormones chill the fuck out and I can control the evil shit that spews from my mouth. And I hope that hubby realizes that making us stop to get him a breakfast sandwich was TOTALLY SELFISH!(Because it was!) So much for not being stressed out! Sheesh. I've been practicing my Zen breathing all morning.

Anyway, 2 embies were transferred successfully. Dr. D was a "perfectionist" according to the nurses, always something that's good to hear... so in the meantime, please pray that these babies implant... and let's also pray that the Jets win on Sunday since their horrendous loss had a lot to do with his piss poor mood yesterday, I'm sure of it. LOL. You'd think he was on his period or injecting himself with hormones or something... good grief.

Happy Tuesday!
*S


9 comments:

  1. So you're PUPO (even though I hate that expression)! Hope this transfer brings your baby. Its definitely hard on the marriage. You want to feel supported but most guys such at this stuff and don't really know how to be. Hopefully you won't have to worry about it after this!

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  2. Rant away. Sometimes I felt the same with J but then I figured since I was the one going through it all until IVF he just saw it as another thing I took on. Praying that those two embies stick(:

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  3. Haha, you're awesome. Good luck with these little babies, all my prayers are with you and them! :D

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  4. LOL I can relate. It is hard sometimes because we are required to do so much to our bodies and the hubbies not so much. I am excited for you and happy to hear everything (except for the breakfast stop) went so well for you! Hoping this is it!!!

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  5. Yay for two embryos currently making themselves at home!! xoxo

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  6. Just found your blog today and your marriage and TTC starting time are very similar to mine as well as age too :) I can totally relate on the football thing. The hubby has at least 2 fantasy football teams and then add in if the Cowboys lose it's game over for him! Praying these little babies are in there for the long haul!! It sounds like you have been through a lot in these last 2 years hopefully this is the one for both of you :)

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